Dubai… NOT!
So… just as we were getting prepared for the move down the road to Dubai, we got a little piece of news that made us put the brakes on the whole thing.
When we were initially discussing the move a few months ago, our relocation provider told us that ‘in line with [DH's] company’s policy our housing allowance would be re-evaluated for the new housing location’. Okay… totally fair. Housing in Dubai is about 20% cheaper than it is in Abu Dhabi and I didn’t think it was a problem for them reflect that. So… they end up dropping our budget by 29% of our initial value. A little steep… but still doable.
So… fast-forward to about a week ago. I was told by some real estate agents that the earliest to start looking for a place was about 1 month before you wanted to move in. We start looking, and I’m not having much luck finding a place I’m happy with an fits within our budget. I’m not completely discouraged, but getting a little nervous. However, as I start talking to people… I realize that utility bills are wayy higher in Dubai than they are in Abu Dhabi. Now, we have a four bedroom duplex (about 2500 sq ft) and the MOST we ever paid for all of our utilities was about 500 AED per month; during the winter, the bills were more like 100 AED/month. Some much smaller flats I looked at in Dubai (we’re talking literally half the size), the current tenants were talking about 1500 AED bills on average! (500 AED for water, 500 AED for electricity, and 500 AED for district cooling — plus 5% annual ‘DEWA fee’) Anyways, the huge increase in monthly expenses made me a little nervous. That’s a lot of extra money a month just on utilities… especially when my company will still pay for my fuel to commute back and forth. (Which, by the way… was 506 AED for the whole month of April) We ask the relocation company what our adjusted ‘cost of living allowance’ would be since things in Dubai are so much more expensive… and guess what it was? NOTHING!
Now, I get it. We signed a contract to live in Abu Dhabi. They had all of these numbers figured out with us living here. It just makes zero sense to me that they get to cut our housing budget by 48,000 AED but won’t give us an extra 1,000 AED/month to cover increased utilities. By my math — they would still net a profit of over 30,000 AED if they just made things fair for us. Anyways, that was pretty much the nail in the coffin for the move to Dubai. Come on people! Just be fair!
So… the new thought is to move off-island to Al Zeina. It’s right on its own private beach, just a few minutes drive to Yas Island, and only about 40 minutes for me to get to work. (Maybe 30 if you drive a little fast) The flats are gorgeous with most of the amenities that are missing in Middle East homes — walk in closets, laundry rooms, large open kitchens, and storage in the bathrooms. Now if I can get a Realtor to call me back — we would be good to go. Just three weeks until we need to be in our new place… wherever that may be.
so sick of the drivers!!
So, after a year here… you would think I would have either come to accept the driving here. Not a chance.
The number of times I’ve almost died on a UAE roadway is just sickening.
Now, I never got into a car accident in my nearly 10 years of driving. A few speeding tickets… but that’s about it. Never a moving violation, nothing!
So…we move here, and I was TERRIFIED to drive. I’ve never been scared of driving anywhere else before. Hell, I was driving in one of the ten largest cities in the US before I had a license.
So… things that are the norm here:
- Honking, ALL THE TIME. Last week, a person behind me laid on their horn because I did not pull out into oncoming traffic. Yeah, thanks.
- Parking on the right of way. Lanes, city streets, sidewalks…. or the most common, double parking someone in. If your car can go there, you can park there.
- Over-speeding. Now, I”m not just talking 2o kmh over the posted limit (since everyone does 20 kmh over the posted limit anyways) We’re talking double-the speed limit, and not just on the highways either.
- Weaving through lanes at excessive speeds, no indicators, like it’s a game.
- Following too closely. Just about every time you get on the road, someone will follow inches away from your bumper… and that’s not an exaggeration.
- Driving with their brights/hi-beams on — ALL THE TIME! Middle of the day? Brights on. Dusk? Brights on. Driving around the city at night with plenty of street lights? Brights on. These idiots just don’t understand that their brights make it harder for you to see everyone else. The worst part is… these idiots already have the nice cars with the bright halogen lights, so the hi-beams are just a double-whammy for being blinded.
- Never indicating.
- Flashing brights for you to move out of the way, even if there are cars all around you and you physically can’t change lanes.
- Passing on the hard shoulder.
- Taking a turn from the improper lane. Three lanes of traffic over from your turn? No problem, just cut across. I mean, it’s up to all the other drivers to ensure that you can get across all those lanes safely.
- Not gradually applying the breaks. Want to stop? Slamming on the breaks… every. single. time.
- Not understanding how to make a smooth turn. Making a left hand turn… you’ll start out with turning too sharp, followed by too wide, and miraculously they might make it.
- Lanes being optional. I mean, don’t you just want to take up two lanes sometimes?
- No reason accidents. I mean, I understand that it’s called an ‘accident’ for a reason… but I can’t even count the number of times some young Arab gets peeled off the highway, on a perfectly smooth and straight road, in perfect weather, in a safe car, during the day.
- Not wearing seat belts.
- Having their children in the front seat, and often on the driver’s lap.
- Children never being buckled in. I heard a story (first hand) from a woman who was going through a roundabout, and a two year-old fell out of the window of the car in front of her. Seriously.
a year ago, we were packing up
It was the last weekend we spent in our house… possibly ever.
Crazy to think about how much has changed in the last year. International moves, holidays to new places, new friends, making it back to the states to see some old ones. I think if we ever did this sort of move again I wouldn’t be nearly as stressed out as I was the first time. (However, I’m sure Chris would be rolling his eyes if he read this — I’ll probably always get somewhat stressed moving)
Right now, we’re just getting ready for the move to Dubai. Definitely not a big move since we’ll both be keeping our current jobs, our things will only be in transit for a few hours, and I’ll get to pick out the place we’ll be moving before we pack everything up. Yesterday I looked at a nice flat in Green Community — I don’t think we’ll move into the place I looked at, but I really like the community. (And it’s in the same investment park as I work — yay for 5 minute drives to work!) However, I think it will be like a lot of expat communities — lots of families with kids, not so many younger couples. I suppose we could move to an area that’s a little more ‘hip’ like the Dubai Marina but I just don’t think the high-rise lifestyle would suit us. We’re both from the midwest and we like our peace and quiet and getting to know our neighbors… even if they end up having kids.
Work has been really busy… did the Oman Oil & Gas Convention in Muscat last week, and was in Bahrain for meetings the week before. Probably will be making another trip to Bahrain here shortly to hopefully get a big project wrapped up.
Other than that, we’re just starting to think about a holiday to get out of the country for a while. Currently thinking about Barcelona and then taking a train up into the South of France and go check out some wineries.
Oh… and the weather! Who knew that weather would get sooo crazy as winter transitioned into spring. (Not quite the same spring storms we got in Oklahoma, but interesting nonetheless) Sandstorms, rain, crazy wind, even had some lightening and thunder (very mild, but still… we looked like crazy people at the Beach Rotana getting excited about lightening and insisting we sit outside).
Until next time!
((CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ALMOST BEEN A YEAR!))
a very past-due update
It feels like it’s been ages since having time to post on here.
I’ve been making daily commutes to Dubai for my new job that I started nearly a month and a half ago — crazy to think about how quickly the time flies! At first, driving the Sheikh Zayed everyday was really stressing me out. The hour and 15 minute drive home was stressing me out more than the entire day of work was. Of course, this meant I would get home exhausted, and then get to fight with my ever-so-loving husband. It went something like this: him: “I don’t know what’s so stressful about working” me: ”I’ve started a new job which is always a little stressful, I’m gone for 12 hours every day because of the commute, and I drive along a really dangerous highway for most of it”. Yeah, it was a pretty crappy situation. Luckily, I’ve gotten more used to the drive and the long days (which, 12 hour days really suck) and Chris has gotten more used to me just not having any time during the week. And I’ve put on like 4 lbs because I don’t have the time or energy to do anything anymore.
So guess what… we’re moving to Dubai!
I still have no clue where exactly we’re moving to, but the move is in process.
It took over a month to get approval from Chris’s company to move, and now we’re (being forced to) deal with the relocation company and ‘destination service provider’ to facilitate this move. And like the move over here, I really don’t want to know what these people are getting paid for their very-little-value-added services. To us, it’s nothing more than extra people we have to go through to get the information we’re looking for.
Things have changed so much since me getting a job here. We see our friends a lot less, I cook a lot less, and we eat out even more.
And totally unrelated to me getting a job, but we have had so many horrible sandstorms in the last month! It’s been absolutely ridiculous. This week it was so bad I was sneezing and coughing and wheezing for most of it. You would have thought I was back in Oklahoma in the spring as bad as my allergies were.
But, the job is going well and I think my coworkers are really happy with my performance. Plus, we might start reselling my old company’s pumps. How crazy is that?
The weather is just starting to heat up, and I know it will soon be summer again. It’s crazy to think about how miserable the summer will be after how amazing the weather was all winter long.
9 months and maybe a move?
Well, it’s official. I have a job! Applications engineering/”pump specialist” for a company in Dubai. The pay is pretty good, and they’re providing me with a car and paying for my gas. (not that gas is a big deal here, it’s only like $1.10/gallon — but it’s still really nice they’re paying for it)
The bad part, though, is that the job is in Dubai. From where we live in Khaladiya that’s about 1 hour, 15 minutes doorstep-to-doorstep. Factor in some traffic and that’s about three hours each day in a car. THREE HOURS!
Our lease here is up at the end of May so we’ve started talking about possibly moving somewhere a little closer to where I work. where we live doesn’t exactly fit our life-style any more either. With the local kids, the noise, and traffic — we’re ready for some place a little quieter. (On the bright side of things, I filed a complaint with the city about the unnecessarily loud mosque’s call to prayer and the volume finally got turned down)
So, we’ll see how the job goes! Wish me luck!
Let me just start this by saying I’m not particularly “well traveled” or “well read” or very worldly at that… but I’m absolutely sick and disgusted by the comments I’ve heard from many Americans about living in the Middle East.
The UAE has one of the lowest crime rates of any developed country in the world. They have never had a terrorist attack.
CNN Travel had an article the other day about how traveling to countries like Oman and the UAE are quite safe and fun. The comments that were posted made me furious. (here’s the article if you’re interested: http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/07/travel/middle-east-travel-safety/index.html?hpt=tr_c2)
- “Hmmmmm…. Austria and the Alps or the Middle East and its incessant violence… Decisions, decisions….”
- “Rather go to Antarctica in the middle of winter in a swimming suit that go anywhere near that part of the world.”
- “I rather eat glass”
- “You take your life in your hands when you visit the middle east and have to be out of your mind to venture such a trip.”
- “Sure, if your vacation is going to include ‘interesting local color’ (being bombed) and ‘surprising jewels of culture’ (kidnapping).”
- and the list goes on…
Now, most Americans have heard of the “Westboro Baptist Church” (you can see their official website at http://www.godhatesfags.com) and most people are smart enough to realize that this group has nothing to do with Christianity. So why do you associate all Muslims and the whole Middle East with terrorists and extremists? The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia exiled Bin Laden long before the 9/11 attacks, and subsequently was banned from just about all the GCC.
The GCC has excellent relations with the US: The Sultanate of Oman paid over $1 Million USD to free the American hikers in Iran. The entire US Fifth Fleet is kept in Bahrain. The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia & Kuwait allows the US to operate several sovereign bases within their borders.
And on the topic of Iran: do you know the country is ideologically different from most of the Middle East countries? Iran & Pakistan is Shi’a while most of the Arab world is Sunni.
Yes, there has recently been some uprising in the Middle East; countries like Egypt, Tunisia, and Syria had major regime changes which had some violence. Hey, do y’all remember that whole “Revolutionary War” in the states? Remember reading about how violent and bloody that was?? Yes, countries have internal political strife sometimes… but that’s contained to the country. No one is saying “don’t visit North America because Mexico is violent”. In fact, I’m pretty sure if I told any of my European friends they can’t visit Vegas because Mexico is violent, they’d look at me like I’ve lost my mind. (Which, I’d also like to point out that crime rate in Vegas is significantly higher than it is in Abu Dhabi)
Yes, some things about living in the Middle East are different. But, hey, if you moved from the US to France it would be different too.
No, I don’t have to wear one of those “burqa” things. In fact, the burqa is the traditional garment of Afghani women. We live in the UAE — it’s, like, a whole different country!
No, men are not allowed to beat women or treat them however they want. In fact, if a woman in the UAE asks for a divorce, it’s usually granted and the men pay pretty dearly for it. Sure there might be some things culturally that I disagree with (re: the man is the head of the house) but some American families feel that way, too.
No, there are not daily bombings or protests or anything like that. In fact, there is never anything like that. Do you all remember the OKC bombing in 1995? That was a home-grown terrorist attack. Not to mention the one in Austin in 2010. These are acts of violence by Americans on Americans. Isn’t that a bit more concerning??
The UAE is a fantastic modern country with people from all over the world living here happily and peacefully. Why would you not want to visit here??
Back in the UAE
I’ve finally gotten over almost all of my jetlag after arriving in the UAE almost five days ago. Over a month back in the states was both refreshing and interesting.
Now, we were warned about “reverse cultureshock” before we left. Let me tell you… it’s absolutely true. Living in the UAE, you develop this attitude (well, maybe it’s less of an attitude and more of a necessity) to assert yourself – sometimes a little harshly – when things are not being done correctly. Yes, if you live here… you know you do it. In this part of the world, the polite “please” and “would you mind” are completely foregone due to both the language barrier and also it’s just not part of the culture. When you want something done a certain way, you just tell people — end of story. However, one very rude security guard who was overstepping his position brought out all the UAE in me. It almost wasn’t pretty.
Other than that — it was FANTASTIC to find everything I needed in one grocery store. I’m so used to making at least two stops for every recipe (sometimes three or four) so just being able to go one place was great.
The worst part though was the taxis. I’m admittedly spoiled now by just stepping outside and hailing a taxi when we want to go out, and not having to worry about how we’re getting home at the end of the night. Back in the states, it’s nearly impossible to get a taxi and then it’s sooo expensive to do so. Granted, the cost of a taxi is much much cheaper than a DWI, or the possible injury to yourself or another person… but still.
Being back in the US did make me realize one thing though… home is wherever you make it, and right now that’s Abu Dhabi. I was back in the US for nearly 5 weeks, and I never really felt settled. Coming back to our flat in the UAE feels like home. Maybe this means we will survive as expats in the long run? Probably still too early to tell… we’ve only just past the 8 month mark.
Moving Abroad as Young Expats
Let me just start this by saying there is nothing easy about moving abroad, regardless of how old you are. You leave behind your friends, family, familiarity — basically your entire support system and everything you believe to be true — to move to a place where you likely don’t know anyone and the social & cultural norms are very different from what you’re used to.
Now, some of the older expat families (I feel) are at a bit of an advantage. They’ve been together longer and know each other better, and they (hopefully) have the maturity it often takes to let go when things don’t go according to plan. (Because trust me — in an overseas move, very little goes according to plan.)
As a young couple, we’re still admittedly figuring it out.
Now, we had the advantage of being together for a few years before we moved abroad. (And if you’ve read any of this blog, you’re rolling your eyes because you will have read that we celebrated our our year anniversary two weeks after arriving in Abu Dhabi.) However, we had bought our house and lived together for a few years before ever even considering the move. Yes, I understand that living together before marriage is “putting the cart in front of the horse” or however the expression goes, but it’s how we did it… nothing changing it now. And as any couple knows… learning to live with another person is never easy.
So on to the moving abroad part. It was absolutely stressful. I felt like it was especially hard on me because I was giving up my job in the states and having to find a new one in Abu Dhabi. Also, I depend a lot on my friends — not just for companionship, but to keep me sane with some girl-talk.
And when you move… you don’t have any real relationships with anyone locally (besides your spouse),you don’t necessarily know where to go or how to get there or what’s available, so you’re forced to spend a lot of time with your spouse when you’re both stressed out. It’s not necessarily the best situation. In fact, on occasion it can even be pretty volatile. (Think: weeks on end in a hotel room, you’re out of your element, you’re having to learn all about a new place, and the only person you get to talk to is your husband)
But, you eventually settle in and make friends — and life gets better. You’re on this grand adventure and you get to do it with someone you love and care about. We don’t have kids to worry about, so there’s no added stress about making sure we get them into the right schools, or in a neighborhood where they’ll have friends. We get to travel to places we would have never been able to before we moved.
And most importantly, I think moving has brought us closer as a couple. When we moved, the only person we had to rely on was each other. We had to get better at working through issues because there’s no retreating to another room when you’re stuck in a hotel. We’ve had the chance to learn and experience new things together. Basically, we were forced to spend an abnormal amount of time together through some very hard times — and we came out of it better.
2011 in Summary
Sitting and talking with Dana the other night made me realize what a whirlwind year it’s been.
We “officially” accepted the offer to move to Abu Dhabi sometime in February. (Right around the time of the Snowpocolypse, two weeks of sub-zero temperatures, and being snowed-in for over a week… so I was desperate to get anywhere warm)
The next several months were spent chasing down all the necessary information and making arrangements for our things and our house.
Sometime in April we found tenants for our house after lots of showings that didn’t quite work out, and lots of random people knocking on our door inquiring about the house. (Seriously people, there’s a sign with a leasing company’s information in our yard — we have nothing to do with the house being leased.)
April 28 the movers show up to pack our house. In less than 6 hours, everything is packed in the container to start its journey to Abu Dhabi. We had a fantastic going-away dinner with the best friends anyone could ask for: Rita, George, and Dustin.
The next two weeks were spent road-tripping and saying goodbye to family & friends.
We arrived in Abu Dhabi May 15. The next few days were spent looking for housing, which we found on the second day.
The next two weeks were spent trying to figure out how to actually take possession of our flat, fighting with Chris’s company and the relocation company trying to understand who pays what, getting utilities set up, and trying to sort out visa stuff. Oh, and somewhere in there we celebrate our one year anniversary, which I spent at least part of crying because I was miserable being stuck in a hotel, away from all my friends, in a place I didn’t quite like (yet).
Mid-June (after spending 5 weeks in a hotel in Abu Dhabi) we have a short trip to Mumbai.
I come back, alone, to accept the shipment of our things. (Mind you, this is EIGHT weeks after our things left the US). I was initially excited to finally have our things and move in to our house, but come to find out every piece of furniture we own has been trashed by the moving company in Abu Dhabi. Customs took off the packaging to inspect our goods, and the moving company didn’t find it necessary to replace the packaging before they moved it from customs, to their warehouse, and eventually to our house. Another few weeks to get insurance sorted out and have someone come and repair our things.
So, it’s still the middle of summer, no one is in town, and we have yet to make any friends.
Then comes Ramadan which was miserable. Luckily we got away for a week when my fantastic hubby took me on a vacation to Italy for my birthday. We spent most of our time in Como and then a day in Milan before heading back to Abu Dhabi.
Sometime in Fall I finally meet some fantastic ladies and Abu Dhabi starts to feel much more like home. I take a nice vacation to Hong Kong where I meet up with my mom and sister which was fantastic.
The rest of Fall was fantastic with lots more ladies nights, cookouts, and friends.
So, it might have taken nearly 6 months to settle in, but it was a nice way to end the year.
So there you have it, 2011 — the move and settling into Abu Dhabi in a nutshell.
December!
I can’t believe this month (and this year) are nearly over!!
Between National Day celebrations, Christmas parties, our new American friends, the month just flew by. And just a little bit about National Day — it’s really more like National Week. The week was just mad with all the festivities. The decorated cars and buildings, silly-string fights, impromptu parades, jets randomly doing acrobatics, giant flags flying from helicopters, fireworks, concerts, you name it! It really was pretty extraordinary to watch. And to think in the States we just grill, have some drinks, and shoot off fireworks.
Biba & Michael had a lovely Christmas party that all of our friends were at. It was a nice way to get in the Christmas spirit — especially because it hardly feels like the Holidays when it’s hot and sunny everyday. (And well, lets be honest… it’s not exactly a holiday in the UAE)
And then December 17th we left the UAE to head back to the states where we spent a fantastic few days with Chris’s family. The only problem was that IT WAS COLD! When I got in, it was 0 C/32 F. Getting to see our friends & family made up for it though. Rita & George drove in from Tulsa to spend some time with us. They’re definitely a big reason why I miss Tulsa so much.
After a few days, we left Arkansas for Texas. It was nice to get here as the weather is within a few degrees Fahrenheit of Abu Dhabi. Sunny warm day and mild nights. Not to mention the Mexican food down here is fantastic. Marce, Maggie, Chris & myself had a nice lunch date one afternoon at Costa Messa (a must-try if you’re ever in South Texas). Also had an IB reunion and got to see some old classmates at another fantastic Mexican restaurant. And in case you’re wondering, I do eat myself sick on Mexican food every time I’m down here.
Christmas Day was relatively stress-free and I got some nice gifts — thanks mom & Margaret! I think everyone had a good time and Christmas dinner was fantastic — turkey, cornbread stuffing, and all the trimmings.
Chris left back for Abu Dhabi the 27th and I’m here for almost another month.
All in all, its been an interesting year — can’t wait to see what 2012 brings 
